Alifah Amelya

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.


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Alifah Amelya

Seronok sana. Seronok sini. Di mana-mana seronok. Bila banyak sangat seronok, Allah akan uji kita dengan dugaan. Macam-macam dugaan. Dugaan ringan, berat, banyak mahupun sedikit. Dugaan itu bukan bertujuan untuk melemahkan semangat. Dugaan itu adalah cara Allah untuk mengingatkan kita supaya kurangkan sedikit seronok sebab di luar sana masih ramai lagi yang tak pernah merasa erti keseronokan. Dugaan itu penghapus dosa. Rasulullah pernah bersabda: “Bahawa besarnya sesuatu balasan itu menurut besarnya sesuatu bencana ujian; dan bahawa Allah apabila mengasihi sesuatu kaum diuji mereka, kemudian sesiapa yang menerima ujian itu dengan reda, maka dia akan beroleh keredaan Allah, dan sesiapa yang bersikap keluh kesah serta benci menerima ujian itu, maka dia akan mendapat kemurkaan dari Allah.”

Aku tak berkecuali. Aku selalu lupa pada DIA. Tatkala aku sedang bersuka ria dan berseronok, aku telah diuji dengan pelbagai dugaan. Dugaan yang hampir mematahkan semangat aku. Aku hilang arah. Ketika ini baru aku sedar yang aku telalu leka dan lalai dengan duniawi. Aku bersyukur kerana telah diberi peringatan oleh DIA di bulan yang mulia ini. DIA masih sayangkan aku. Setiap ujian dan dugaan yang menimpa pasti ada hikmahnya. Aku pasti. Aku perlu tabah dan cekalkan hati untuk mengharungi dugaan ini sebab aku tahu akan ada ganjaran buat aku nanti.

Ayuh berusaha, Alifah Amelya!

Alifah Amelya

Have you ever saw and heard people talking to their pet cats? For cat lovers, that is not an out of the ordinary scene. It’s a common practice. But have you ever wonder why on earth do they do it? It’s not like they understand what the cat is actually meowing about. What’s more is that the cat CANNOT and WILL NEVER figure out what owners said to them.

Well guys, if you ever thought or felt that way obviously you are wide of the mark. Owners and pets do really understand each other. They really do. Watch this.

The truth is, cats actually do all kinds of things that we usually do. For instance, cats also gossip among each other, but not in front of humans. They just don’t feel cool showing it to us. Don’t believe me? Watch this.

Have you ever hurt someone with your foul and awful words? You feel terrible soon after that because you were just too angry and you don’t mean any words that slip out of your mouth. That happens to cats too. Argument is inevitable when your spouse was cheating on you. After watching this, you should understand why you should not interfere with cat squabbles on the street.

This is the last and probably my most favorite video. I don’t know what this grumpy cat was ranting about but obviously she has issues with dogs, John and Johnson. Folks, please don’t irritate any cat out there or you might be the next on her hate list.

p/s: YouTube is sooooooo much fun to watch when you know where to find